Bullshit

He came as a hero
he masqueraded to be what dreams are made of
His eyes do mesmerize, he does enter
as though you were the only one

he came as a hero
different from the rest
I thought he was what dreams were made of

But instead he proved to be
a petty repeat of bluest blues
and weeping willows

And I wonder what drives one
to play with hearts in such a manner
that the broken spirit of the other
simply does not matter?

I write this poem, to write you out
of every dream or wish I prayed
upon brilliant stars who were only laughing
spawns.

Cursed spawns with sharp teeth who
bite every time I remember He, who
made my dreams and ripped my dreams

I write this poem, to write you out
to heal myself, to rid myself
of every naive and foolish
hopeful hysterical feminine feeling.

And I write this poem,
So you can feel somewhere
in that wide chest--that in my
dainty breast bleeds of lost love.

And I write this poem
with one intention
To portray the most horrific feeling
To illustrate why this world is unmoving

Because fairy tale dreams are what they
are. Fancy fantasies of nothings. Love
is but a dream, because Life has other meanings

standards. regulations.

So for poets as I who write the
fantasies, who live in these ridiculous stanzas
can entertain others with verses of loss and love

As they close the book, with a short lived expression
Then go about in the most selfish and self centered
lives.

Not once looking naked to naked of actions or consequences
because instant gratification is maintaing and elevated ego.

I write this poem to write you out
as I have written others before.

he is to me
as i
sometimes i believe that he um,
i love the way he looks at me
he is to me,
but no one has ever
made me,
well, i don't know...
i thinkit's the way he looks at me
and i could be deep in thought
or dream, or mental poetry is when i will feel
the way he looks at me
and when i catch his eyes
there is no right word to quite express
so i look
at what i believe is
a demi god and
i swear the intensity
in his eyeshis jaw line....
i love the way he looks at me
and i do think well,
i do believe that when he realizes
I am peaking that-
he loves the way i look at him.

My love departed

My love departed, it has been 6 days
And his eyes don’t seem to be the same
My love departed
From my touch, his words no longer honey
On the ear, no longer savior of my tears
My love departed.

My love departed, and each day I age,
My refection—the hidden Dorian Gray
My lexicon diminished to the only phrase of
My love departed!
it has been 6 days.

And dreams aren’t dreams
They’re ghastly terrors
Horrible reminders
Terrible mirrors!

And dreams aren’t dreams,
They’re lingering ghosts
Unwanted hosts
Of my disaster!

And so I wait in wake in this midnight hour,
For the knock of my dark demonic fowl
To post and quote with his wicked mouth
My misery, my agony, my ache, my woe!

My life departed, it has been 6 days.

Directions to the Big Red Angry Rectangle

Ok so,

1. Go west, snail trailing down crimson rivers
2 Then north sliding up reversed bloody waterfalls
3 then um..east? Yeah ok, east across 3 or 4 dead red seas and
4 finally take a sharp South towards a fiery sign labled Dee's Inferno, 5th realm-got it.

31. Autobiography w/o pronouns

1.

star dust formed star in womb until uranus says "chil come on"
but star was stubborn so a moon flew down to aid in boom

star dust was called mute moon child who's only glow
sprinkled on trees

uranus says to the aquachorus,
"dat chil , always hides thoughts,
speaks wit eyes, and den scribbles"

aquachorus responds, "let light shine

let light shine

light shine"

2.

eclipse lasted a little too long loosing light

of moon child

and her glow

and uranus asks aquachorus: "where's lil light ?"

aquachorus replies: "dark comes this way

dark comes this way

dark comes this way, but dark will pass"

3.

hint of diamond residue mixed with comet tails

was the appropriate ambrosia

that gave moon child strength to write dark into light

and light into glow

and orbit, into rhythm

and uranus said to the aquachorus: "dat chil of mine, always hides thoughts, speaks with eyes, and scribbles on trees

aquachorus responds: "let light shine

let light shine

let light shine"

Fairy Tales

Once upon a time eyes rained
And heart clapped and soul thundered
Once upon a time I stormed.

Once upon a time deep vivid thick
And luscious green
Seemed
Pale gray
Once upon a time I was imprisoned.

Once upon a time
And again once upon a time(s)
The freedom train
came
for me
And I got on.
And returned.
Once upon a time I was institutionalized.

And, once upon a time--
And oh! how eyes rain
and stream down my cheeks
and strong hands wipe
some away and allow others to trickle
to the corners and descend into cloth covered down.
and oh! how eyes rain
and heart claps and soul thunders!
and I, perform continual rain dances as it showers!


and oh! how my eyes see
deep vivid thick and luscious green!

Once upon a time the freedom train came.
Once upon a time the freedom train came for me.

Children of the Cement: Image Poem

We are children of the dust,
of the dirt, of the cement,
finding- nutrients, supplements,
soul food
blak flowers
blak beauties
atleast that is how it used to be
growing from the same root
even if just a few-- we grew
and kept tight- bonded
strong hearts in the likeness of the Sun

at leat that is how it used to be

rather than our blak beauties
lying in the cement, whithered

sprouts seem to divide themselves
and the once Sunlike hearts turn hard
or perhaps forgotten? Our forgotton blak flowers.

but perhaps, we will again
grow from thick green leaves
undivided, in the essence of the Sun
with the essence of the Sun as

blak flowers-
black beauties.

Writing

he is the underlying, the after taste of my ink
but i will write
he out of me in the manner I wrote himin

my imaginary concept of what u between the lv--
the romanticized concept of what it was suppossed to be

I dont deny the u between the lv, but I question its
purity-
muddled, dirty, like a p.o.w

i was, so this is my
deep
deep
deep secret...

or new found or knew found knowledge or acceptance or realization
that the u between the lv can be a learned behavior

forced IMAgiNed.

because reality is in the mind---> my father often speaks philisophically to me.

"No one exist unless you allow them to exist."

so i write he o u t o f m e in the manner I wrotehim in.

hynaku

pine
needles. bark.
green stem grows-

rays
stream through
leaving stained trails

of
red orange-
orange-red kisses

fading
into yellow
green-green yellow

remnants
that eventually
soften, brittle, fall

whirling
floating rocking
into cool sharp

blades
which blanket
cool damp earth

which
the wind
rouses potent aroma

the
kind of
perfume signaling life.